Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
