I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
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