Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm passing your future prison.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
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