I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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