I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
