all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
