sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
In America we eat man semen.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
