so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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