Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Randomize
