I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
