just come out here and I will go home with you...
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
