i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize