i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
It's blow job season.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
