Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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