If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
