So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
