she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
