im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
