Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
