i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
