I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
