Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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