Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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