I think my fart just growled at me.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
