Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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