Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
third nipple confirmed
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize