anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
