I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
