I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
