that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
