I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
she looked like the before picture.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
