fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
