I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
