The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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