We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
accomplished twins. life is a go
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
