We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
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