Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
