I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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