if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
