There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
