My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
