Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I want to be your penis for a week.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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