He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
