why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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