Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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