So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Pooping to opera.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
