I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
