i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
