The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
