I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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