Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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