he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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