just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
