Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
