and you said cock pushups were impossible
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Come back. Shots need mouths.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
