you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
