so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
