I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
