Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
