Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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