there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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