well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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